BEDTIME:
I don't really think I can put into words how important bedtime is around here. Not because they are finally going to be out of my hair for a few hours. Do not get me wrong, I love that part of it. It is more about our routine and the chance I have to spend just a few minutes alone with each of my kiddos.
When dinner is cleaned up I have them brush their teeth and get into jammies. Showers if needed.... When they are in their PJ's they head downstairs and grab a book. No T.V., no games, just quiet (supposed to be quiet) reading time. This gives me a chance to finish up any loose ends in the kitchen, get the babies teeth brushed, and get them cleaned up and ready for bed.
Once the babies are ready I head down stairs and read aloud to my kids. Sometimes one by one as they crawl on my lap and sometimes we only have time for me to read a few short books and head to bed. Either way I always read to the entire group. I make my 10 year old attend. He does not always love that, some times he reads to them and sometimes he puts on puppet shows for them. It really is adorable to watch him. He really has such a tender heart and just loves his little brothers and sisters.
When stories have been read and everyone cuddled close on the couch we sing. We sing one, two, or more songs . Some fun and some so tender. Primary songs are always sung. I often choose ones that will hopefully teach something to one of my struggling kiddos.We sing to practice for primary programs and to celebrate holidays. Sweet K's choice is always a song about the temple. She loves the temple and loves that she has a forever family. We always end this time with family prayer.
Everyone scatters to their rooms to wait for me or Mr. M. if he is home. He is not very often home, but we sure love it when he is! C-Dog and Miss M have graduated to later bedtimes so they go their separate ways until their bedtime. My younger kids go to bed at 7. I do not care if they go to sleep but they must stay in their beds. Sometimes I like to listen at their doors and hear their little secrets and fun conversations. I believe this is key bonding time at our house. I start with the babies. I stand and rock them and kneel and pray with them. Tickle and squeeze and off to dreamland they go. When they turn 3 is about the time they are ready for the rest of our bedtime routine. I lay on each child bed and ask "What was your favorite part of today?" and
"What are you most grateful for?" I ask them a few things about their day. I tickle and cuddle and tell them how much I love them. I take their hands about every other night. I hold one finger at a time and I tell them. "You are smart, you are kind, you are funny..........." You get the idea. I always end with. " I love you, for you!" Whatever their particular talents are, or even ones I hope they develop I praise them for. I kiss each child and head to the next room until I have reached every child. I do it on a different level for the older two as they head to bed. If I know a particular child is needeing some more one on one then I leave them till last so I can lay there longer and chat with them.
Corny? Too much? Maybe it is, but I will continue to do for each and every child until they outgrow it, and then I will just do it differently. I want more than anything for my kids to know their Dad and I are their biggest fans. I want them to know they are loved and that home is a safe secure place.I want them to know I am interested in them and their lives. They all came from such sad unsure circumstances. They deserve every chance to not have their beginnings dictate the rest of their lives! Study after study has shown dinner time and bedtime are crucial, and so I take whatever steps I have to to make it memorable. There are nights we miss when I have babysitters or company or a late night where we do not get to bed on time. I skip stories and we still do each room and condensed if that is the case. I felt inspired to start this for one of my kiddos and know we have been doing it for 5 years. I believe it really is about what is important to you and what you are willing to make time for.
5 comments:
I agree that dinnertime and bedtime are important. Even though there are 5 years between my boys, and they don't have to share a room, they still like to and they still like me laying in there with them at night to chat.
You're doing such a great job with these kiddos. Makes me sad to think what their lives would be like if they were in their old situations.
You are amazing. Seriously. Your bed time routine I'm sure was divine inspiration. I think it was divine intervention that you shared this on your blog, so I could read it and resolve to start making bed time more meaningful for my children.
Thank you
I think every new and perspective mother should read this post.
nice job.
these children are blessed.
You are so amazing!! I am usually done by bedtime so I just send them off to bed while I hang out downstairs. I need to make a better effort to be more involved in that routine. You inspire me and make me want to be better. I love that you share all of this :)
Bedtime is always the time I feel like I can CEMENT something into their hearts. There are no distractions.
WIth the boys, I wasn't so good, but with Sissy - it's a whole different story. I hope it makes a difference for her! : )
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