Whirlwind

You would think from the lack of activity on this blog that my life was boring. It's just the opposite and not all of it is pleasant. Our little buddy left and 2 hours later Mr D. arrived. He is just as adorable and 4 months old. The day after he arrived I think was the day I found my tumor. The days are all running into each other with the whirlwind of activity that has ensued. I told my hubby about it first and made him ck it just to make sure I was not crazy. I had spent the previous night in pain and have been in pain from this this thing on and off for nine months at least. I thought it was from an injury, but as it turns out the tumor was the injury and I just didn't know it. The tumor itself does not hurt it is just what it is pressing on and it's size. It went from not being noticeable at all to protruding out my right side in a matter of days. I called the Dr. his front office staff thought I was blowing something out of proportion and said they would not see me till Monday. This was a Thursday. On Friday I called back and demanded an apt. I was immediately sent to get a CT Scan. When the doctor left the room I could hear him say to the PA. " I have no idea what that is, get a her a CT scan STAT! I MEAN IN 5 MINUTES, GET HER THE PAPER WORK!" I wanted to chime in, I can heeeeaaar you..... They ushered me out the door pronto. I dashed to the imaging center where the radiology tech hovered after my scan and was ultra sweet. She is a stranger, why is she hovering? She is either really nice or something is seriously wrong with me. She said I would hear from my doctor's office to stay close to my phone. They called and said to keep my Monday apt. WHAT? that was it? I had myself worked into a royal tizzy by Sunday night. I asked for and received a priesthood blessing.
    On Monday I was told it for sure would have to come out, but first they had to know what it was. We still had no clue. So I was off for a surgical biopsy in the Hospital. I spent the next two days in a haze. That twilight sleep is for the birds. It have bruises from several failed IV attempts. The least of my worries, right? I got the call Friday morning that my pathology report was in. They gave me the option of coming in and getting a full report or getting minimal info over the phone. I missed my kids and they missed me. I felt like I had abandoned them. I think they felt much the same. A few would ask as soon as I came in the door from an apt if I was leaving again. Makes me sad. I chose the limited info option as to not have to leave again. I was told it was for sure a tumor that they think is benign with no guarantees of no malignancy. So really I knew nothing more than I could guess.
     I went to the referred surgeon on Tuesday with Mr. M beside me. DR G rocks. He told what kind of tumor it is and I promptly forgot as he described what it would take to get this tumor out. You see, it is wrapped around my right rib cage and poking into my liver and growing out of my body. They assured me that they could assure me of nothing but the possibility of cancer and a lifetime of chronic but manageable pain after it is removed. My blood work looks good, and I have nothing else anywhere in my body and if we should find that there is any cancer in there I get chemo or radiation or both. Meaning it is localized and that is good as far as your cancer options go.The ribs are lined with nerve endings and they may be damaged in its removal and that may cause me the chronic pain he is talking about. They have to pull my ribs apart and remove some muscle and well I would be lying if I said this does not scare the hell out of me. The reality though is that I have a tumor and I have no other options, I am praying like mad, trying to stay positive and busy, very busy to keep my mind off of the road ahead. One day at a time..... I have been honest with my kids and received more help than I could have imagined and I am humbled by those so willing to serve. Ours is not and easy household to take over.
My surgery is this Monday the 18th and my dear friend Ashley will post an update for everyone here. The emails and texts so full of love from everyone are just so hard to answer one by one.