Well laid plans

Who are we kidding? They don't really exist. I only had a slim window of time before Mr. M. went to work. No time to even try to look good. I wasn't to worried. I am sure the nice lady at my local Walmart garden center doesn't either. She does not care if my hair is barely brushed as long as my teeth are right? My lack of make up, nobody cares.So with my gray sweat carpi's on that make my calf's three sizes larger, and my smelly paint shirt from the night before I head out the door. All is well, not even a neighbor to share my shame with. I have it all worked out. Park right by the garden center grab two bags of mulch and run out. Be prepared to make sharp turns to escape other garden shoppers if needed. I am clearly not versed in Walmart garden center etiquette because the doors do not open till 8. What, I have to enter through the main entrance? I am one hidden cell phone camera away from being on that scary people of Walmart web site. My outfit could not be any less flattering than, well it was bad..... So I did what any self respecting woman would do I turned around and went home.  NOPE,  not me, I grabbed a cart,the loudest most rickety, could not hide if I wanted to stupid cart. It was like wearing a neon sign reading,  here she comes. I held my head high, mumbled some rude comment about the garden center to the nice greeter and made my way through the Walmart. Once inside the garden center I grabbed the goods and found out in 10 minutes I could check out and run to my van. I don't think the mulch isle is very busy I will just hang out there. Nah, not me. I decided if I looked the part why not embrace it fully. I walked right through those double doors again and smiled kindly to each person I passed. I knew what they were thinking. That's ok, as long as they were not secretly documenting I was free and clear. I grabbed my one needed item and all but ran back to the garden center with my cart. Only problem was  the faster I went the louder the noises. Turns out I should of went even slower. I went straight to the checkout out where I was happy to be alone until the till was ready. I was not alone..... a obnoxious (you know the kind) public servant and his wife were behind me. He was chatty, a little rude, and could not help staring at my get up. You know the kind of people who think they are funny, but just are not!  His wife even told him to leave me alone once. I had to suck it up and be polite. I should have went home...... The moral of this story is, it is better to buy mulch in evening attire then at least the stares and obnoxious comments would be worth it!