This is How I Feel

DAY 9
From the archives

Due to circumstances beyond my control I have hired a part time nanny. Nothing big, just a technicality. One I am not happy with. It is only seven months. I can do anything for seven months. Lucky for me the nanny and sitter are both my Sisters and Little H or Bubba on occasion only have to be away from me for short periods of time. I know... get a grip, lots of woman do it. I am very blessed to be a stay at home Mom and believe me I know it! That said, it killed me today even knowing she was just at my sisters, not missing me at all I bet, and playing with her cousin. It was weird every where we went I panicked when I only counted 7 little heads. When we went into Daddy's work and ate lunch I missed her. When we went and picked out a new pet for our house, I missed her. When I served dinner to seven instead of eight and thought of the family time she was missing out on I got MAD! She will be going to preschool this year and next year onto kindergarten and I want to spend as much time with her as I can before it all changes. I hate being forced to forfeit time with my kids. At the same time I think this could be so good for her. She is my kiddo with the most separation anxiety and the time away may actually prove beneficial, but still maybe a little premature.I made sure she was the last kiddo I put to bed. I cuddled up to her played all her favorite little face games. She loves a face massage. ( I am an aesthitician, remember?) She just kept asking for more so I obliged. I am silly I know and hopefully the time will fly by and she and I can both come to terms with the change.